


Ash and Lavender

by cass_e



Series: A + S [10]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Banter, Creampie, Crying, Cunnilingus, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Making Out, Minor Injuries, Multiple Orgasms, Neck Kissing, Non-Consensual Violence, Overstimulation, Porn with Feelings, Post-Coital Cuddling, Sexual Violence, Spooning, Teasing, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Vaginal Fingering, a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:40:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cass_e/pseuds/cass_e
Summary: After Ascilia is almost raped in a library, she comes to a startling realization.
Relationships: Ascilia/Sterling
Series: A + S [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833877
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Ash and Lavender

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year! Thought I'd ring it in with a nice, warm piece (sort of, the beginning's a lil' rough).
> 
> Anyway -- if you saw the tags... >.> Buckle up lmao. (Also -- I know I need to finish the other half of that other fic, but I promise it's coming lol.)

“Ascilia, where’re you going?”

I pursed my lips, adjusted my shawl, fixed my hair, and _then_ turned to face Sterling. He’d just gotten back from breakfast, so he was sitting in our living room, reading a book.

“Into the capital,” I said, tone clipped.

“Again?”

“Yes, _again.”_ I moved about the room, gathering my things. “I told you at the beginning of the week that I’d be coming and going, studying at the library. Don’t you remember?”

“Ah, yes. The excuse to get away from me.”

I paused, putting my books on the desk in the corner of the living room.

It’d been a week since the _brunch incident,_ and even though Sterling’s words during my punishment had struck a chord with me, I still found it difficult to just roll over and submit. To Sterling, it wasn’t _just_ about submitting, but to me, it was the exact opposite.

“If you’re truly bothered by my absences,” I said, “then you can chain me up and keep me here. Otherwise, I’ll be at the library, studying Aryar.”

“Watch it, Ascilia. You’re on thin ice.”

A month ago, such a threat would’ve had me unraveling at the seams. But when I turned to face Sterling, to hold his cold gaze, I only felt numb. The hard, unforgiving angles of his face, which had once made him mysterious, were now . . . dull to me. I’d cut myself on the fae so many times that now, I wasn’t afraid of bleeding. He’d lost his edge.

When his stare softened into something more confused, I cleared my throat and then left.

* * *

A few guards from the palace accompanied me to the library, and when they brought me to my usual room, I got down to business. The guards stationed themselves outside, and as I flipped through books and books of Aryar, I listened to their small talk.

A few hours passed when I heard a few voices outside my room, and when the door opened, I startled a bit.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” one of the guards said. “There’s a fight down the street, so someone’s requested our help to stop it. Would you allow three of us to go? You’d still have one guard, and we think it’d be fine because the library isn’t busy at this time of day.”

“Oh, of course,” I said, playing with one of my necklaces. I shrugged. “Whatever you need. I’ll just be . . . here.”

The guards nodded and then closed the door again.

I sighed, getting back to work and taking some notes. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but once I heard voices outside again, I figured the fight had been resolved. I stood, about to call it a day, when the voices turned into shouting — and then _screams._

When the guard slammed into my door and then fell to the floor, I stiffened, fear numbing my fingertips. But within a second, I shot out from behind my desk and then ran behind the bookcases, hiding.

I looked for an exit as I heard the door open. Unfortunately, the windows were my only way out, but I didn’t particularly feel like jumping from the fifth floor.

“Come out, _Your Majesty,”_ a man crooned. “We know you’re here, all alone. We only want to keep your company.”

When I heard more than one man laugh, my blood ran cold.

_No, no, no, no, no—_

I had to do something. Anything. I thought about screaming out the window, but that wouldn’t do much; the capital was always so busy and loud. And then the men would be on me in seconds.

I could always fight back, but I was outnumbered.

And then — I could try sneaking out, but the room, beyond the bookcases, was painfully open.

Either way, I was screwed.

“Ah, there you are.”

I startled so back that I jammed my elbow into the wall. When I pressed my back into it, facing forward, I locked eyes with a young man on the other side of the room.

“Awww, don’t look so scared,” he said, running a hand through his blond hair.

When he took a step toward me, I bolted down the row of books, trying not to breathe too hard. I’d made it across the room when a hand snaked its way around my waist, hauling me back.

“No!” I panicked, grabbing at the arm, but the person threw me back. As I propped myself up, three young men stood before me.

An excited glimmer shone in their eyes.

“Please,” I said, my voice almost failing me. “Don’t hurt me.”

“We’re not going to hurt you, silly,” the blond said, crouching by my side. “If you cooperate, it’ll be the exact opposite, really.”

The redhead nodded sarcastically. “Very pleasurable.”

The brunette leaned down to grab my ankle, lifting it up. “Now, why don’t you take off your clothes?”

I yanked my leg back and then kicked him in the knee. He stumbled back, so I scrambled to my feet, rushing to the door, but the blond grabbed my hair. I yelped as he yanked me back, and when I struggled, he put a knife to my throat.

“Let’s be smart, now, hm?” He seethed in my ear.

I whimpered, tears forming in my eyes. “Stop, please! I’ll give you money! Food! Anything!”

“We want your tight little cunt,” the blond spat, throwing me back down.

All three men were on me again, and when I still struggled again, the brunette punched me in the face, sending me reeling.

I gasped, trying to shake the dizzy feeling and rising nausea. “Please,” I cried, squirming under their hands, “we can work something out!”

The blond ripped through the top of my dress, and before I could even react, he dragged his knife across the top of my left breast.

I froze as I watched a four-inch cut turn bright red. It wasn’t deep, but it’d stung, and more than anything, it was shocking.

“Speak again, and I’ll carve your tongue out,” the blond said, shoving the knife under my jaw.

I ground my teeth and narrowed my eyes. I’d never felt more powerless in my life, not even with Sterling.

_Sterling._

I almost lost control of a throaty cry but managed to swallow it down.

_Sterling._

My husband.

The fae king.

The person I sometimes hated most — I _needed_ him here.

I’d never felt so fucking alone. The realization made me tremble.

I wanted to scream for Sterling, but there was no point. He was so far away. And crying out for the fae would only stroke these men’s egos. Would only make them laugh at me.

The redhead settled between my shaking knees and then tore my thighs apart, and even though I wanted to scream for help, I couldn’t.

I squeezed my eyes shut, more tears rolling over. I tried to ignore the way the men adjusted their hands on me, fingers digging in so hard I knew I’d be bruised tomorrow.

That is, if I _lived_ until tomorrow.

The redhead threw my dress over my hips and then ripped off my panties, fingers jamming into my hole.

My chest heaved with barely contained sobs, and right when I was about to start screaming again, the door to my room flew open. I saw one of my guard’s faces before a spear flew through the air, impaling the blond behind me.

Screwing my eyes shut, I shrieked, and then the other two men were taken care of with arrows.

“Your Majesty!” The guards ran over.

I tried to speak, I really did, but I couldn’t make my mouth move. I brought shaking hands up to my neck, closed my legs shut, and then sobbed.

* * *

Back at the palace and in our living room, I tried to ignore the people around me, running about. There was no need to panic anymore, but I had a feeling they were less worried about me and more about Sterling — who was on his way up right now.

“Your Majesty, how does the cut feel?” One of the healers asked, sitting on the coffee table in front of me. “There was no pain while we stitched it up, right?”

“No,” I said, voice barely above a whisper. “None at all. Thank you.”

The healers gathered their things, and right as they were about to leave, the door to our room flew open. Sterling stalked forward with more anger in his eyes than I’d ever seen.

“The guards told me what happened,” he said, looking at the healers. “Is she all right?”

“She’s fine, Your Majesty,” one of them said, bowing. “The cut has been taken care of, but her face will need time to heal.” The fae paused before adding, “She wasn’t hurt anywhere else, sir. She’s incredibly . . . fortunate.”

I shrunk at the last word. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I burrowed under the blanket — even more than before. My hand was getting cold from holding the ice up to my left cheek, but I didn’t feel like moving.

“Well— Thank you,” Sterling said, uncharacteristically unsure of himself. “That’ll be all. You can all leave now.”

We both waited in silence until everyone was gone.

When the door finally shut, I pressed my forehead to my knees, hugging them tighter. Just remembering the redhead’s fingers on me, _inside_ of me, made me so angry that I trembled.

I heard Sterling cross the room and then crouch by my side. “They’re all dead, Ascilia. I made sure of it.”

I lifted my head, sniffling. I glanced over Sterling’s face, mildly surprised by the emotion in his eyes.

“All right,” I said. “Thank you.” I waited for him to say something, looking away and then back again. When I couldn’t take the sad look in his eyes anymore, I said, “What, Sterling? I’m — I’m fine. I’m alive. Everything’s all right.”

When Sterling put a hand on the arm of the couch, by my shoulder, I was slightly disappointed that he hadn’t put it on me.

“Ascilia . . .” The fae trailed off, searching my face. “I’ll give you some . . . space. Time to heal.”

My throat stung with tears. “What . . ?”

Sterling stood, adjusting his baggy white blouse. “You seem shaken up.” He took a deep breath, finally looking away from me. “Let me know if I can do anything else for you. But you’re not going back into town anytime soon. I’m sorry, but it’s not— No. I’ll have books sent for you, if you still want them.”

When Sterling started to walk away, I remembered the man’s fingers in me, even if they’d only been there for a second.

I shot to my feet, making the fae turn around to face me, concerned.

“His fingers were in me, Sterling,” I said, voice cracking. I threw the ice on the table and then clenched my fists. “They touched me. Threatened to kill me, mutilate me. And you’re just—? You’re leaving me? Alone?!” I hugged myself, ducking my head.

“Ascilia, I don’t know what you’re—”

I ran over to Sterling and then practically threw myself at him. He grunted, caught off guard, but wrapped his arms around me.

When I stuck my nose in his neck and smelled the familiar scent of ash and lavender, I burst into tears.

“Touch me, please,” I said, carding my fingers through his hair. “Please, Sterling, I want you. Want your fingers in me. Your mouth on me. Everything on everything, always.”

Sterling responded by hoisting me up, holding a hand under my ass. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked toward our bed, shushing me.

It felt so good to feel his chest against mine, so solid and real, warm and secure. I rubbed my thumb over the back of his neck, sniffling as I calmed down.

“Here, let’s lie down,” Sterling whispered, placing me on the bed.

When he settled over me, I dragged my hands up his torso, under his shirt. I closed my eyes and then exhaled shakily at the feeling of his smooth skin.

The fae trailed one hand across my chest, fingers ghosting over the stitches.

When I opened my eyes again, I held Sterling’s intense gaze. Heat pooled in my stomach, making me dizzy with pleasure, so I moaned softly as I spread my legs. I clutched at Sterling’s shirt, his arms, his ass.

“I never want anyone else’s hands on me ever again,” I said. “All right? No one else’s. Just yours.”

I moved to hold his face, swallowing back sobs. “All I could think of was getting back to you. Because you treat me so well, Sterling, and I’m tired of letting my human pride get in the way of making you happy. Because—” I took a deep breath “—I love you. _So much.”_

Sterling’s breath hitched. Before I could even say anything else, he swore under his breath and then kissed me hard. I exhaled roughly against his mouth as we grabbed at each other, never getting enough. A dull roaring swept through me as my lips already started to tingle.

When he ground into me, my breath hitched. Heat twisted in my gut, and just the thought of Sterling’s cock inside me made me shudder. I whined, clenching around nothing. Clumsily, I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him impossibly close — closer.

“Ascilia . . . Ascilia, _fuck.”_

I was getting dizzy with the way he held me, hands smoothing over the sides of my face like I was fragile. Our hands slapped into each other by accident as we continued to grab, and when I’d finally had enough, I blindly grabbed one of Sterling’s wrists.

“What—?”

“Touch me, please.” I didn’t care that I was already begging — I moved his hand to the damp space between my thighs.

When I opened my eyes, I stared straight into purple. My hips jerked when Sterling rubbed a knuckle against my clit, through my panties.

“I was furious,” he choked out, kissing down my neck. “I still am. That they— Those men—” He cussed, biting the right side of my neck.

Heat flashed down my spine as he tongued over the mark, sucking. I lifted my hips, impatient.

“Before I killed them,” Sterling said, still mouthing at my neck, “I cut their tongues out. Because they threatened to do the same to you. I also . . . sliced their chests open because they hurt you . . . here.” He pulled back to touch my stitches.

“H— Ah!” I clenched my thighs around his hips, already dangerously close. “Fuck, Sterling—”

The fae worked fast, pulling my panties down. I fumbled with the intricate knots of my dress, but he moved my hands away, ripping the expensive fabric apart like it was nothing.

My blood ran cold as my mind took me back to the library.

Immediately, Sterling noticed, so he sat back on his calves.

I was afraid he’d stop altogether, so I tried to say something. “Sterling, I’m—”

“I’m sorry,” he nearly whispered, looking me over. His hands wandered down my sides until I felt his fingers dig into my thighs. “If I hadn’t pushed you away . . .”

I watched, mouth parted, as his eyes glistened with tears.

My heart pounded frantically.

When Sterling released my thighs, I moved up while pulling him down. As I sat on his lap, I shrugged off the remains of my dress, baring myself to him. He watched me curiously as I bent over him, holding his face.

It blurred as a lump formed in my throat. Thumbing over his cheekbones, I whispered, “You did nothing wrong, Sterling. Nothing at all.” When I closed my eyes, tears pattered against his brow.

For a split second, I was embarrassed, but Sterling pulled me down into another mind-numbing kiss.

He rolled us back over, looming over me. “Tonight, I’m on top,” he breathed, slipping down my body. “Let me take care of you, Ascilia.”

I nodded frantically as his breath ghosted over my stomach. On instinct, I snapped my thighs around his shoulders, panting harshly.

“I don’t know how long I’ll last.” I swallowed thickly, looking down at him between my breasts. “I just— I just—” My chest heaved as Sterling finally put his mouth on me, holding my gaze all the while.

I tried to look back, I really did, but when I felt his tongue slide in, my eyes fluttered shut. I threw my head back as Sterling licked over me, his groans making my stomach clench. A moan punched its way out of my throat. I tried to control my breathing, my body, but it was useless.

Heat coursed through me, but the feeling was foreign. It’d never felt like this.

Sterling’s tongue slid over the lips of my pussy as he made his way up to my clit. “So fucking wet,” he rasped. “I haven’t even put a finger in yet, but you’re already a wreck. So sensitive.” He sucked my clit until I squealed, breathless.

Right as I started to laugh, dizzy with emotion, Sterling said, “Spirits . . . I love you so much, Ascilia.”

When he sucked at my clit again, he slid in two fingers, curling them languidly. It was nothing new, but his unexpected declaration stole my breath away.

I babbled and then screamed as one of the strongest orgasms I’d ever had rocked me. I fumbled for something to hold onto, one hand ending up in the sheets, and the other, in Sterling’s free hand. Electric pleasure zinged from my toes to the crown of my head as I came down, gasping for air.

I whined when it all became too much, and surprisingly, Sterling pulled away, letting me catch my breath.

“I can’t believe . . .” I trailed off as Sterling unwrapped my still-twitching thighs from his neck. Blinking down at the fae, his face came into view. When he licked at his lips and grinned, I giggled. “I can’t believe you said that _down there.”_

The fae only smiled, thumbing my hips.

I raised a brow. “What?”

“Nothing, I just—” Sterling’s smile grew as he shrugged out of his blouse. “I’ll never forget when I was woken up that night. After you came, you smiled. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. I’ve never been able to forget it, and, fuck, I wouldn’t want to.”

When Sterling made me blush, it was usually because I was embarrassed, but now? My heart soared. It was because I was _happy._

I watched as Sterling backed off the bed, untying his leather pants. My throat bobbed as he pulled out his cock.

“I never thought a human would do this to me,” he said, kicking his pants away.

Sterling hissed as he palmed himself, kneeling over me once again. His black hair was still held back by a silver hair stick, but strands had fallen out, framing his face. Warmth crept up my cheeks as I remembered that this man, this fae, was my husband, and I was his wife.

I slid a hand over my chest before spreading my legs, catching Sterling’s attention. I held his purple gaze as I said, “I almost wish you hadn’t killed them . . . Just imagine fucking me in front of them.” My toes curled in the sheets. “I like that idea too much. Making them watch the one thing they couldn’t have before they died.”

I thought I’d gone a bit too far, indulging in some fantasy Sterling wouldn’t approve of, but his face pinched together as he bared his teeth. I thought he was in pain, but his grip tightened around the base of his cock.

I blushed, watching his abdomen clench.

“You said you wouldn’t last long . . . _Fuck.”_ Sterling’s voice dropped. “I don’t think I will either.”

When I reached out for him, he propped himself up on a forearm. His other hand guided his cock to my entrance, but I didn’t look down. I held his gaze as he pushed into me. His hand drifted to my hip, fingers digging in.

Everything ached in all the right ways, but when Sterling went to mouth at my neck, I held his face above mine. When he bottomed out, he was about to ask what I was doing when I smiled breathlessly.

Immediately, Sterling shut his eyes and then pursed his lips together. He hummed, but when his mouth parted, it turned into a long, rumbling groan.

I grinned. “What if I can finish you with a smile now?”

And then — Sterling _laughed._ He dropped his head to my chest as my stomach twisted around butterflies.

I made a questioning sound, but Sterling answered with a firm thrust of his hips. I inhaled sharply as the fae pulled back, smirking, cheeks colored. His eyes were narrowed in concentration and pleasure, but I could tell they were also glazed over.

Sterling grabbed my waist and then started rolling his hips. It wasn’t quite thrusting, but his cock ground against just the right place, ratcheting the warmth in my gut faster than I’d anticipated.

“Wait, fuck—!” I tried to keep my eyes from crossing at the feeling, but it was impossible.

“Someone needs to — fuck — be humbled—! Fuck!”

I tried to laugh but it came out shaky. “Sounds like — Sounds like you—!” I nearly bit on my tongue when Sterling suddenly picked up the pace. “Sounds like you do too! A-Ah, shit, Sterling, it’s—!”

“I know, Ascilia . . . I know. Just hold on.”

I moved my hands to his shoulders, accidentally scratching his back.

His lips grazed over mine as he set a brutal pace, chasing his own pleasure, but I couldn’t have cared less. He’d already made me come on his tongue, so I was fine like this — feeling everything and stuck in limbo, cunt twitching deliciously around his cock.

Sterling had been right because he didn’t last for long, but as soon as he was done coming inside me, he shoved in two fingers, pumping them at an angle that had my hips levitating.

When he sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, I jerked my hips down, the sensation becoming too much. But Sterling followed and kept up the pace, pinning my hips down when he’d finally had enough—

When I came undone for the second time, my moans broke off into high yelps. My walls clamped down so hard that they expelled his fingers, but he shoved them right back in with an approving groan.

My chest heaved as I struggled to breathe, and when I’d finally finished, Sterling carefully extracted his fingers. My eyes wouldn’t open, but I felt his lips on my mound, kissing me.

Things moved slowly after that.

When I felt a weight disappear from the bed, I started to protest, but my throat ached.

“Shhh.” Sterling reappeared over me, dragging a warm cloth between my legs. “Just relax, Ascilia.”

I mumbled something.

“You love it when I say your name?”

I wasn’t sure I’d actually said that out loud, but I smiled and nodded anyway, blinking blearily at him. When his purple eyes came into view, I clumsily pressed a hand to his chest, right above his heart.

Exhaustion tugged at me, threatening to pull me under, but Sterling grabbed my hand.

He kissed my fingers as he crawled into bed and then spooned me.

“So . . . What else do you love about me, _Ascilia?”_

I slapped the bicep my head was on, a reprimand, but I mumbled, “So many things.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, they're still gonna be a lil' toxic. That's their charm after all.
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a kudo or comment! <3


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